Serenade

“And let the night be mine.Be there at eight.”

Nnaina read the text for the nth time,careful not to accidentally tap the reply/call tab,savouring the words written and unwritten,feelings clear and fluid and,dreams and images intended,unimplied.She knew she was going overboard for a date which was,as her best friend Shayana had put it rolling her eyes all the time,”too fickle,too soon”.But whats a girl supposed to do if the aforementioned date is “too handsome,too dreamy” as well ? Well,for one,going all topsy turvy with the rush,the ecstasy suits most of the mortals,which was exactly what she was doing.Love is a sadist bitch with all sorts of baits and hues; the choice of the lethal weapon is yours.Or so you tend to think.Going about that,crushes are two bitches and a half.You don’t know where do you exactly stand in the game,you can not see the entire picture as you don’t know the person that well,and your heart conspires with your otherwise sane mind to interpret every random sign as the one conveying soul-touching,universe-shattering love of the times.And doubly damned be the soul which starts feeding on the vagaries of the game,relishing the haunting sweetness ! But then uncertainty is the torch bearer of the human mind and evolution thereof,the elixir of all the hearts romantic and maverick.Evidently Nnaina was getting too high on the thing.This was made obvious by the chiming of the Little Red Riding Hood wallclock as she looked whimsically out of the window,singing a lovey dovey number,building all sort of imageries and chimera along the lyrics that floated around and shrouded her thrilled being.

“High as Hell !! God,its seven already and the best part of whatever make up and stuff i can use would make me,considering the time i have been left with,a chirpy raccoon !! Great look for a first date! Oh,why did i sleep till afternoon ?” She started talking to herself like she always did when she was nervous or pissed off with herself.”Oh yeah,because that stupid doctor of mine could not wait for a day to call me up and i had to switch off my cell,my TV and the lights so that i could steal a nap before what would hopefully be the best night out ever for me !! And that reminds me,i forgot to call ma.Crap !! ” As she rushed to the washroom,she made a mental note to call her mother on the way to the auto stand and get her electricity bills sorted out and paid the very next morning.

Twenty minutes later,she made a run for the nearest stand,quickly checking herself all over,and consequently adding to the number of lecherous passers-by already ogling at her.”Thank you,humanity.My faith in your penchant for beauty is restored.” She muttered under her breath,secretly enjoying the attention her blue dress coupled with the denim jacket,black boots and a right hunk of jewelry was drawing towards her.After she had hung up on her mother,making sure she was okay and pleased with the doctored list of marriage prospects Nnaina put up before her,she thought of her long gone father and what her marriage meant to him ; mostly redemption.Like someone caught in a war with themselves,she could still remember the helplessness,the temptations,the threats and seductions of the great indian arranged marriage.Thank God,the phase was over and she was done with her education as well,which at least allowed her ample time to choose her partner at her own pace and to enjoy her piece of mind as much as she wanted.However,peace had not come to her at easy terms.Her mother had been a constant worry,and a constant reminder of her father’s wishes.Her health and mood swings kept Nnaina occupied most of the times,that is after she was through with her own ceaseless reminiscences and endless dreams.Her hangouts with friends were luxury and so were the occasional interactions she had with guys whom she met online.Ayan was the latest,the handsomest and the closest to the perfect man a guy could get to.He was funny,sensible,rational,intellectual and well placed in his life and career.Most importantly,he could sing to her with equal panache in three different languages.How sexier can you get than that ?

Ayan had admitted to sharing most of her dreams and fantasies and eventually promised to make at least one of them come true the first time they would meet.The blaring horns and the buzz of the ongoing traffic made the contrast between his words ringing in her ears and the eerie realisation that they were coming true sharp.This was 15th of December,Ayan’s birthday and the night of her dream date.”Don’t you worry Princesse,nothing can get worse now.At least not as much as yourself ! It would be your night,and hence,mine.” Ayan had grinned into his phone the night before.Nnaina sneaked her head out of the rushing auto and was about to burst into a song when she realized what havoc the winds of winter must be unleashing on her precious hair and quickly ducked her head inside,drawing the inevitable “nuts” look from the driver.She chose to ignore him and called Ayan.

Half an hour and one good,lingering queer look from the auto driver later,she was in Ayan’s car heading towards the Niladri spur and the surrounding ridges.The mountains,the lovely dreamy,wintry mountains! How lucky she was to have Ayan,winter and the mountains with her this very night !! When they reached the intended place,Ayan stopped the car,smiled,got out and opened the door for her,holding it,while she struggled with picking up her dress and paraphernalia.

The first thing she noticed as Nnaina got out of the car was the moon.The sad,wan and yet enchanting moon.The legacy of days and stories gone by,the memoir of people and sagas of love to reckon with,the serene personification of nature and the beyond.Half-veiled in clouds and night,it spoke volumes and sung wordless ballads,all the while being the epitome of silence and beauty.The night gathering mist and stillness from the sepulchre of the evening,and the  trees.The trees along the ridges,mimicking some visage from a war or feast,brought alive from the annals of history.All of this masked in the ever varying shades and touches of winter she so loved.

And Ayan.Melodies,mirages and all that is exquisite.All that matters,all that hurts,all that is unreal.She looked at his beaming face and then again at the hills.Should not this be a sin somehow ? To be this happy when people back there are suffering and dying every single moment.This shouldn’t be real.Perfection is only a lighter shade of deception.She just had to look out for the flaw,and put her finger on it.But looking again at Ayan,she lost track of whatever she was thinking and shrugged her head.

“So,shall we,Princesse ? ” ,Ayan seemed to be asking her the question for quite a while,judging by the look in his deeply haunting eyes and a suppressed smile playing on his lips.

“Yeah,sure.So,what is it ? A cottage ? A Pagoda ? “, Nnaina smiled and started walking in steps with him.

” How about a combination of the two ? Kidding,its a Zupada.Or at least that’s what the natives call these huts.” ,Ayan told her.” Just wrap your shawl around.These Banjaras are not used to people from the town.The more you blend in,the gentler they would be with us.Unless,of course,you want to spend the night outdoors,which i would not suggest at this time of the year,particularly when you are alone.”

Nnaina looked daggers at him ” If you want me to shout and scream for suggesting that you might desert me for the night,forget it.I ain’t buying that crap.If you didn’t check in the mirror before heading out,Mr Nanda,let me tell you what’s written large on every bit of your face ! LOVE !! Beat that !! ”

Ayan laughed a reverberant laugh “Thank the stars above you can read that.I have been called a great many names because of the alleged inability to comprehend the word until i met you,madame.”

“Ditto here.So,is that it ? ” Nnaina stopped as she saw a cluster of huts forming a circle in front of them.

“Yeah,pretty much yes.Not so comfy-looking or what,Princesse ? Ayan took her hands in his own.

” I wasn’t expecting a Hilton anyway.I wanted to taste this way of living long since.Lets go for it ” She looked in his eyes,touching and cuddling his soul without touching.

Afterwards Nnaina watched Ayan,entranced,as he talked to the Banjaras in words and gestures which made them go all abuzz with mirth and sincere curiosity.Like a magnet inducing ripples of force in the scraps of iron in its vicinity,Ayan was joy.And warmth.A woman in a heavily embroidered Ghagra and something called kanchalli brought specially flavoured warm almond milk for both of them,asking them to join them in their festivities around the bonfire they had built for the night.When she looked around for Ayan,he was a human train with a bunch of jubilant kids hanging onto him.Smiling and crossing her fingers,she walked to the fire with the women.

Sitting across the bonfire,Nnaina and Ayan spoke to each other in words,stolen glances and deliberate,tender touches.She told him about the dreams she had since her childhood,about how she was fascinated by the beauty of fire and by the intrigue in grief,how she thought most people around her took things way too seriously without pausing to look at things which actually mean something and how she had needed an escape from herself and the sickening love of her family until he came along.He told her about how he loved it when his mother would scold him for spending too much of his time and money on her,which all movies he had watched thrice or more,why he thought girls proposing to boys would be a better idea in the dating protocol and why he still loved and re-read The Lord of The Rings.And when they sang aloud the lyrics of the song ” Hume tum se Pyar kitna……” together,Nnaina silently thanked her father for leaving her and her ma alone,immediately feeling a spasm of cold guilt surging through her.After they had their dinner in batis,daliya and saloi and a multitude of fruits and nuts amidst ethereal singing and a beautiful Lambadi dance by their hosts,they set out for a brief walk.

“So,did you like it,Princesse ? ” Ayan asked her as they walked slowly,drinking the charms of the night and the unearthly,plaintive silence.

” What ? The people ? They are angelic.I loved them.”

“You think you are very good at avoiding questions,don’t you ? We both know the answer could include something else.”

” Like ?”, Nnaina asked playfully.A moment later as she looked into his eyes,she knew it was a mistake.She could not bluff or play around while he looked at her like that.”Oh okay…..yeah….you….this..whole…whatever……”

“You know that’s not working on me,girl !” He flashed a brief smile. ” Come clean about it and we might call it a night sooner.”

Nnaina stood speechless,all her smartass comments and comebacks visibly lost in the fog of the marvel standing in front of her.

“You know Nnaina,i could have proposed to you if only i had any other possibility in my mind.In the world i am,you have already said yes a zillion times over and i don’t care how crazy that sounds but i have rejected any other variant of reality.” Ayan got down on his knees and this was the instant the drizzling started,almost completing the magical aura around the hills.” And i know its a bit too fast for anyone,but tell me i am not alone in this and that would be it.I would rather die with my dream chasing you,than nurture a world and existence which i can’t ever deem real.You feel like a part of me now,a part i didn’t even know i was missing.So,tell me Nnaina,do you allow me to get the part back to where it belongs ? Tell me if you want the moon to remember the night we became one for eternity,to make these hills testimony to what i already know deep within.Will you be mine,forever and ever ?”

A beautiful drop of tear rolled down Nnaina’s eyes as she choked on that single word.”Ye….s !!”

“Oh,what,hey….was it that cheesy ? ” Ayan teased her.

“Shut up,you wicked wicked thing !! ” Nnaina tried to make for his hair,but was caught by Ayan in mid-air.And as he lowered her to the glacial ground,their lips met,the warmth of it encompassing her body and psyche against the frosty ambience of the hills around them.In that one single kiss,Nnaina could taste aeons of love,wanting somebody and not getting enough of them,of desires and promises all the human race could ever conceive of and the taste of a place where she belonged.The rain continued to drench them outside,as the conflagration of love burned and consumed what were their individual identities hitherto,marking them one.

Nnaina could only vaguely remember how Ayan had carried her back to the Zupada assigned to them shortly afterwards,and the delicate,supernal way in which he had made love to her.It was her first and she could vouch for the fact that the feeling that came with it was the stuff magic was made up of.

Next day,dawn welcomed her sleepy self back to a world which had suddenly become the very reflection of beauty.As they bid their hasty farewells to the Banjaras and even after Ayan dropped her at her own place,Nnaina could not help but relive the night before in her mind again and again,until the images turned into words and vice-versa.

When she reached her doorstep,she saw a package lying there.It was from her doctor.”So the Bitch could not even wait for a day ? Thank God i wasn’t here the last night.”She grumbled to herself as she unlocked the door and entered her flat.Grabbing her laptop,she settled down on her couch and logged into her facebook account.After tending to the notifications,she decided to have a look at Ayan’s profile,but stopped in the middle of it,picking up the report instead.

As she read through words like “family care”,” degenerating” and “Dementia praecox”,she clicked at Ayan’s profile with the other hand.The first post on his wall read :

You were the best of what a friend can be.We will miss you.RIP.

Like. Comment. 8 Days ago.

Rage,pain and determination flashed in her hazy eyes,as she threw the laptop away and like a lunatic,looking at his only means of escape dashed to close all the windows and doors.By the time she was done with the last window,she broke down and was all sobs and muffled screams.

A month later,as the cops took the body away,a lady in the crowd gathered remarked icily ” She didnt even think of the child,did she ? “.